What a year can do

Since the world did not end as scheduled, I am sitting here this morning reflecting.

Thinking.

Realizing how much has changed.

On this morning last year, I dropped off the kids at school, then took my husband to work.  On the way, he received a panicked phone call from his mom.  The kind of phone call you never want to get.  The kind that leaves more questions than answers.

The baby was here.

He wasn't supposed to be here until April.

They gave him a 50/50 chance of making it.

In shock, my husband got out of the car.  I started off towards home and this song came on the radio.
 

I cried the whole way.

Today that little boy is celebrating his first birthday.

To me, he is hope.

He's also a sign of how much can change in a year.

So many things have changed for us.  I'm in a vastly different place than I was a year ago.  Things have happened.  Good things, bad things.  Scary things.  Life changing things.

There's a clarity I have now.  The kind that only comes with blood, sweat and tears.

I've learned the hard way that it's impossible to help someone unless they want it.

I've learned that I can't fix someone else.

I've learned to take care of myself again.

I've learned to let go of the things I can't control.

I've learned that happiness is a choice.  I choose it.

What a difference a year can make.