My wish for you

This will be my last post before Christmas.  I still have a lot to get done, and am running out of time.

Isn't that always the story of the holidays?

The rushing, the worrying about getting it all done, the squeezing pennies until they bleed to make the magic happen?

Holidays are stressful.

Christmas is the worst.

And yet, when I tear up on Christmas morning drinking in the moment with my babies, it's somehow worth it.

I cry every year on Christmas.  It's just part of who I am.

Last year, for me, was full of anger and frustration.  Of questions unanswered, of wanting so desperately for things to be different.

My father was gone, my mother was lost, my husband was too, and Christmas still came.  The kids, blissfully unaware of how much my heart hurt, opened their gifts and squealed with glee, and the tears that always fell changed from tears of anger and sadness to tears of joy.

Of being just there, in the moment.

If this last year hasn't taught me anything else, it's that.

We only have this, right now.

Live.

What happened before, we cannot change. We cannot fix.  We cannot have back.  The people who are gone, are gone forever.  The moments of what if have passed. We can choose to sit in the past and stew and rage.  We can stay there and ask why.  We can hurt.  Or we can accept.

Accept that the past is the past, and that all we truly have is right now.

Live in the moment.

Take it in.

Watch others find their joy.

Appreciate what you have.

Burn those images into your mind.

We get one shot at this life.  One spin on the merry-go-round.

Do you want to be wondering when it will end, or why your stomach is queasy, or what that guy over there is doing or do you want to strap yourself to that horse, throw your hands in the air and ride?

Here's my wish for you all this year.


Join me on the couch Christmas morning.

Grab a cup of coffee and your camera.

Forget about the fight you had with your spouse a few days ago.  Forget about the kids driving you insane.  Forget about who is arguing about where to have dinner.  Forget about the family drama queen.  Forget about the disappointment you feel for the bad choices others have made.  Forget about the laundry and the dirty dishes.  Forget about it all.

Let it go, if not for good, at least for long enough to truly live in the moment.

Peace.  Joy.  Happy tears.

Merry Christmas.

xo