So Tired

There is a powerlessness to where I am at right now.

The kind of powerlessness that pulls you away from everything and sits you on a bench far, far away, to a place where it seems as though you're being forced to watch things play out over there, too far for your actions to do any good, too far that anyone can hear you begging and pleading for things to be different.

The kind of powerlessness that strips you down to nothing and leaves you out there, alone, bare, exposed.

If there is any lesson I have learned more in recent years than another, it is that we are not in control of what happens around us.

Even and especially the things which we would wish the most to change.

We are at the mercy of rhyme and reason, of fate and time.

We are at the mercy of the choices of others.

We are here, on the bench, far away, screaming into the wind that silences us.

I am tired.

I am tired of being the strong one.

I am tired to doing what I must.

I am tired of being the one hurt.

So tired.